You know you're an expat living in London when...

• For the first time in 30 years you realise why kettle descaler exists.
• Scarves and gloves are not just fashion accessories anymore.
• You wonder why that girl on the bus is wearing a ton of make-up and jewelery but didn't bother getting changed out of her tracksuit.
• The cab driver knows more about the intra-party politics of the ruling political party in your home country than you do because he 'reads a lot in his breaks.'
• The rubbish man gives you excellent tips on how best to cook oysters (this one happened to a friend of mine!).
• You drive to a friend's house and just happen to pass Buckingham Palace on the way.